Remember the last heart-wrenching phase when you just couldn’t let go of your ex? When all you wanted was to have your relationship back? If that’s you or your bestie, keep reading because:
We’re going to dive headfirst into the turbulent sea of emotions and come out on the other side stronger, wiser, and ready to conquer the world.
So buckle up and get ready for the ultimate guide on how to let go of your ex in eight steps!
#1 Cut Off Contact
No, seriously! We’ll have to start with the biggie. Staying friends with your ex might sound like a noble idea, but let’s face it, it’s like keeping a box of expired snacks in your pantry. It’s time to clean out the emotional clutter and embrace a fresh start. This means that you’ll stop being connected on messengers and stop following them on socials. Avoid places you used to go together and tell common friends that you need a break from updates and news about your ex.
Whether you’re the one who was hurt or the one who ended it, cutting off communication gives you control and space to heal, showing that you won’t let it define you.
#2 Pop the Fantasy Bubble
Okay, let’s get real for a moment. That dreamy image of your future together that you’ve conjured up in your mind? Yeah, it’s time to let go of that illusion. Take off those rose-tinted glasses and see the reality as it is. Science shows that intentional down-regulation of love feelings helps you get over a breakup faster.
Get your closest friends to help you with it, they may have a more realistic outside view of your ex. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but liberating and empowering. And make sure to return the favor once it’s your friend’s turn to pop their fantasy bubbles.
#3 Peace Out, Past!
Constantly replaying those precious moments and torturing yourself with what-ifs won’t lead to anything but emotional self-sabotage. Forgiveness is the key here, even if it feels really uncomfortable. Let go of the resentment, make peace with the past, and watch yourself soar.
For the genuinely good and sticky memories, write them down, and lock them in a box, give that box to a trusted friend and tell them to not hand it over until you’re through with it all.
For the hurtful memories you want to get rid of, write them down on a piece of paper and throw them away, burn them, let go of them with words like: “I release you. You no longer have power over my life”.
#4 Feel All the Feels
Breakups come with a whirlwind of emotions. It’s like riding an emotional roller coaster, but embrace the wild ride instead of bottling up your feels. Scream at the top of your lungs, vent and rage into a journal or app, and let go of it all.
Allow yourself to feel the sadness, the anger, the confusion, and the occasional urge to binge-watch sad movies while devouring a tub of ice cream. It’s all part of the healing process. Ideally, you share the movie or ice cream with your besties – host a sleepover, talk the night through, just don’t get lost in rumination.
#5 Love Isn’t Always Enough
Love is a beautiful thing, no doubt about it. But sometimes, even though you still love them, it’s just not enough to keep the relationship afloat. It’s okay to love fiercely and let go when it’s necessary. And yeah, it hurts like hell – that’s because you genuinely CARE.
Remember that you are letting go of an illusion, not of your ability to love and care deeply.
#6 Time Heals Almost Everything
Our brains are wired in mysterious ways, and accepting that someone you once held dear is no longer a part of your life takes time. Give yourself the permission to heal, to grow, and to rediscover who you are without them. Trust that time is your ally in this journey.
Keep a mood journal and track your emotions – the progress will encourage you to trust the process and have faith in your strength.
#7 Be Mindful of Others’ Hearts
When you’re going through the post-breakup turmoil, it’s tempting to seek temporary solace in the arms of another. You may even feel the urge to cause hurt because you want someone else to feel the same pain you feel. But tread carefully. Avoid playing with other people’s emotions to shield your own or distract from what you’re going through. If you’re not ready for something new, be upfront about it. If you want others to feel with you, share your true feelings. Honesty goes a long way.
#8 Embrace the Journey of Self-Love
Congratulations! You’ve been handed a golden opportunity to focus on yourself again. No one is holding you back from anything, so seize the moment. Select new healthy routines to structure your day, take up new hobbies, dive into self-care, chase your dreams, and rediscover what makes you truly happy. This is your time to shine!
Where the Magic Happens
Let’s not fool ourselves – breaking up is undeniably tough – and people of all ages struggle with it – but letting go is where the magic happens. It’s time to unleash your inner rebel and rock your newfound independence as a way to channel the energy of your emotions.
How to Let Go In a Nutshell
Cut those ties, shatter that fantasy, make peace with the past, ride the roller coaster of emotions, remember that love ain’t a magical fix-all, give time a high-five, respect others’ hearts, and embrace the kickass journey of selfcare.
The world is yours for the taking, so grab it by the horns and move on with your life.
Now stop scrolling and go make that first step!